The Kiwi job interview!

On Friday afternoon, I called into one of the largest apple growers in the area to ask about a job. I met Steve and he asked me to come back on Monday morning and in the mean time I should get on the 'piss'. Monday morning came and I was in Steve's office 8am prompt. Question one of the interview, "So, did you get pissed at the weekend?" He was taken aback when I said no. "An Irishman not pissed on the weekend, thats a first!" I could sense the job running away from me...'Well maybe not, I'm English, from Liverpool', "Same fucking thing isn't it?" I got the impression Steve only employs pissheads and decided against telling him about my 3month abscence from the drinking scene. Instead I told him how cheap beer and wine are in South America and that I heard in Vietnam US$10 can buy you 100 beers. I was back on track, he offered me a job pruning apple trees, I should have started yesterday but rain has stopped play. I had time for a coffee in the staff room, equiped with pool table and a bar with beer on tap, I will soon be falling off the wagon I thought.

I remembered my job interview with Halifax bank, I realise a job in mortgages is totally different from working in an orchard, but I find it ridiculous that companies employ people to employ people! During my Halifax interview, in a group of 10 or so other candidates, I was given a task of being a handbag and 60seconds to talk about being a handbag. I wonder how long it took the 'HR' personel to come up with this interviewing process and how much money is spent by such companies. Furthermore, in light of the recent financial crisis and the bailout of such banks by governments, you have to wonder about the way things have been done or run in the past. I'd like these companies to fold, but that would only hurt the working class, the people who have no control on decision making and the future. So, instead I can only hope for a reduction in the big wigs and there expense accounts and the people who come up with the bulllshit idea of making Neil Gavin talk about his life as a fucking handbag ( excuse my Kiwi). I must ask my new boss Steve for his views on this. Like I said before, I know different jobs require different interviewing techniques but I prefer the honesty of the Kiwi approach, where a spade is a spade and not a handbag.